I am currently reading Birth Control for Christians; Making Wise Choices by Jenell Williams Paris.
Why? 1) I find it to be an interesting topic. 2) Birth control is heavily embraced in our society and throughout Christian history this is not an accepted tradition. 3) I’m not sure where I stand on the issue or the various methods and I’ve been curious for a good amount of time. 4) I’m not all that educated on the various methods and would like to know what’s out there. 5) I am part of a congregation that is predominantly made up of young families in their 40s, 30s, and 20s.*
Going into the book I have some leanings that would be wise to share (because they may change).
I tend to believe that a person should be willing to be a parent if they are willing to be a spouse because the two have traditionally gone together throughout human history. Naturally speaking, sex leads to babies. I’ve always maintained that if a person is going to choose to have sex then they are also choosing to possibly become a parent. Life is made up of causes and effects and also of choices. I stayed a virgin as a nonChristian because I didn’t want to raise a child at age 16. I knew, even with birth control, the option was always there. Since this cause and effect was created by God and intended to be a blessing to fulfill his commands I see more merit in accepting it and abiding by the natural cause and effect than by fighting against it.
I’m not against most birth control methods. Abortion (of all kinds) is out of the question. I firmly believe there is no getting around that scripturally (nor would I want to get around it). But the pill, condoms, diaphrams, etc. have never been to much a burden upon my conscience. However, for several years I’ve known that I could probably be easily swayed in my thinking and brought to the anti-contraceptive camp. I suppose the argument presented above is a part of that (paired with my ignorance of course).
When it comes to ethics I tend to believe that there are universal standards for the Christian. I have a difficult time entertaining the idea that there are “different strokes for different folks” when it comes to how the Christian ought to live in the world. Sure, there are different spiritual gifts, callings, etc. However, how we live sexually should be more or less uniform (even if there are options such as sex in marriage, celibacy outside of marriage, etc.). The idea that contraceptives might be right for some and not others is one I am wary of but I readily admit that this is a leaning that often leads in a wrong direction. The fact is, however, that I do tend to see the ethical expectations of God for his people to be more or less uniform and I approach this study with that belief.
To be perfectly clear, I seek to have my mind changed in a myriad of ways during this small study. I don’t seek to prove anything wrong or right. I seek to learn and be challenged. If I end up in an extreme position or in accepting that the matter is an entirely gray one then that’s fine. I expect little. My destination is unknown. I readily admit that my ignorant conclusions of the present are not solidified or even able to be properly backed by myself. In as much humility as I can muster, I want to approach this subject because I desire for God’s Spirit to form me to who I must be for him, myself, and others.
Going into this small study I should admit that I used to desire to be celibate, or to only adopt. Since those days (5 years ago) I’ve learned that I desire to raise children as a father, be they my biological children or not. I imagine having 2 children (maybe 3 at most). I recognize that this flies in the face of my notion that trying to control or reproduction is unnatural and probably destructive when done through various available methods (and I mean destructive in many different ways here). I am certain that what I desire for my future will change through this study. Whether I become open to having 8 kids or not is beyond me (and that’s a horrifying thought for me). Regardless, I am willing to accept that my conclusions may lead me into submitting to the unavoidable applications contained within them, desirable or not. I find obedience to be a great evidence for love of God.
So let’s jump in!
*I’m one of less than a handful of single men in our congregation. It may seem strange that I find this a valuable study given my life circumstance but it is exactly because of my circumstance that I find my study to be of importance. Since I am seeking to become a married man and father I believe it would be of value to have the ability to discuss these matters with folks who are living our the family life already as married couples or married couples with children.
