Guilted Thankfulness & Love

Tonight I came across a picture on facebook that someone had posted. They tagged a lot of people in the picture and captioned it "Sometimes we need to change our perspective. Be thankful everyday." Here is the picture.

Powerful right? The picture by itself is a heart-tugger for sure. The contrast between the sizes of hands of the white adult and the black child clearly communicate a truth we often want to hide from. People are suffering. People, even little children, are starved, abused, neglected, living in filth, and so on. The picture preaches as we say in the church. But then someone added words to the picture that say "You hate your life, whle some people dream of having your life." People have good intentions. I like to think that people do most of what they do with those good intentions. It's hard to get mad at folks for doing foolish things out of ignorance while trying to do what they know to be right. I try to be graceful and humble in those moments because I know I'm a fool and a wreck of a human being as well. I'm sure the intentions of this person who placed these words over the picture were good. My problem is that as good as the intentions may have been this is a guilt trip.

I have written before about how we invest too often and too much in guilt to motivate us. Guilt should never be a motivator. It corrupts the actions it motivates us to pursue because it takes away the purity of motivation. I should care for people who are suffering and be motivated to live a life that blesses them but I shouldn't be motivated to do that because I'm convinced my life is better than theirs. I should be motivated to help the suffering because they are worthy of my love as human beings and because I am able to bless them as a human being. Not because I'm rich and healthy while they are poor and dying. Of course a person suffering is more worthy of my aid because they are suffering but even then my motivation ought to be to love them because they are a human being and they are suffering and not because they are a human being who is suffering while I am not suffering. Even if I were also suffering I should be motivated to bless and extend love in any way I am able. This also means I ought to bless and love those who are not suffering or who are not living a life contrasted with me in significantly noticeable ways.

As stated earlier, the caption to this picture was "Sometimes we need to change our perspective. Be thankful everyday." Again, good intentions. I've seen this a lot while working with the homeless and marginalized. People will come into our world of poverty and see the contrast between their lives and the lives of those I live with and help. They walk away thinking "I have so much and they have so little. I should be more thankful." Yes, you should be more thankful. I should too. We all should. However, it always stings me a bit because while I am joyous to see people gain perspective on their life and on how greatly they have been blessed and thus how greatly they ought to give thanks to God I am hurt that they are motivated to be thankful predominantly because someone else is in a lower or worse standing than them in some fashion. I believe God uses everything to speak to us so I want to be careful here. I also want to make sure nobody thinks I am saying that it is wrong to have one's perspective altered because of experiencing suffering they don't endure through encountering people different from them. I'm not saying that. What I am saying is that, while it is hard and while we need motivation from various places, we need to examine our current perspectives and our changes in perspectives and try to understand we we currently see things and live the way that we do.

I ought to be thankful that I eat well every single day. At the same time I should not be thankful because I eat well every single day while other people do not. I should not be thankful because I have a "better" life than someone else or even because I see I have a good life because they have a bad life. I should be thankful because I have at all, because I exist, because God is good. God is good to the suffering and the abundantly well-living, even if it is hard to see at times. Both ought to be thankful. When I was suffering I should have been more thankful. When I was making good money and had no worries I should have been more thankful. Whether I am on the streets or in a gated community I ought to be thankful. Thankfulness built on guilt is either unhealthy or false thankfulness. It is not thankfulness for blessing but for absence of another person's curse. Then are times when our "Thank you God for what I have"s are more appropriately stated "Thank you I'm not them." That's not real love for God because it's not real love for people. It's love for possession of goods and absence of pains. If our thankfulness is not derived from our love for God and for his blessings (including people) then it's not true thankfulness. How can I be thankful that my life is not as miserable as others? Should I not mourn for them instead? That is what love does. It mourns with those who mourns and it does not simply acknowledge the worthiness of mourning and walk away thinking of self.

When we encounter people, situations, and truths that alter our perspective and remind us of what our own lives, the lives of others, and this world look like and how they itnersect or may not be intersecting (when they ought to) let us not simply walk away with a changed perspective but let us examine our change of perspective and ask "Why am I more thankful today after seeing this?" If the answer is "Because they have it worse than me and i's be wrong for me to not be thankful" we're not yet where we ought to be. We've perhaps made an improvement because we've fund the ladder to climb but we still need to grab the sides and place our feet on the rungs so that we may elevate higher towards God. Let us not be content to be guilted into thankfulness or good deeds. Let us see the truth of this world, the lives of others, and of ourselves, and then see the truth of God and how He loves us all and has been blessing us all and how he has promised to bless us int he future. Let us be thankful for who God is and not because of the contrast we see between ourselves and those less fortunate. Let our understanding and thankfulness for the truth of God spur us to loving action towards those around us be they living similar or contrasting lives and let us teach them thankfulness in a healthy way. Let us lay guilt aside, embracing the conviction that we probably aren't as thankful as we ought to be and we probably aren't as aware or loving towards others as we ought to be and then move forward, being moved by the Spirit, confident and strong in our pursuit. Guilt is a poor and weak foundation for good works. It will break beneath us. Let us learn the difference between conviction and guilt. We must find the foundation of pure thankfulness.

So may you be thankful and live well, paying attention to others and giving them the love they are worthy of as fellow human beings because you live in the knowledge of who God is and how he blesses his children and do not give into the temptation to find joy in the fact that your life appears better or more blessed than the life of someone else, for we know that there are promises for the suffering and curses for the thriving in the gospel.

Wendell Berry on the Death Penalty

As I am made deeply uncomfortable by the taking of a human life before birth, I am also made deeply uncomfortable by the taking of a human life after birth. Obviously, it can be well argued that the world would be better off if certain people had never been born or if they had been killed in early youth by a fall from a tree. And I certainly can imagine circumstances in which I might kill another person. But I don’t believe that mere humans have the mental or moral capacity to decide rightfully, let alone infallibly, that another human should be killed. As I don’t condone the illegal killing of a human by a human, I cannot condone the legal killing of a human by a human. One killing is not rectified or atoned for by the addition of a second. An illegal killing is in no way made better by a legal killing. A society is not made saner or more morally secure by the deputation in it of legalized killers. Whereas many illegal killings are done in hot blood, legal killings are always done in cold blood and with a procedural deliberation that is horrifying. Hot-blooded killing is of course horrifying also, but to me it is more understandable. Probably we have no choice against illegal killing, which continues to happen against the wishes of nearly everybody. But it is possible, morally and rationally, to choose to withhold one’s approval from legal killing, and I so choose.

— Wendell Berry; Port Royal, KY; January 23, 2009

A Short Word on the Death Penalty

There is no way to accept the grace of God, which is shown through Jesus Christ dying for us who were his enemies, while we are willing to call for, support, or be indifferent towards the killing of our "enemies" even when done by the state. Forgiveness is lived out with merciful action or it is no forgiveness at all. Either we value the mercy and love of God shown in Christ and imitate it as we live in a world with fellow wretched sinners or we don't. Either we value life or we don't. We don't get to be rescued from debt and demand others pay up for their debts to us and still be in good standing with the righteous Judge of all. Jesus took the place of the murderer Barabbas on the cross. That's the living gospel. Death penalty? Not if we're trying to imitate Christ. Revenge is not justice. Justice is not tit for tat. Not really. Not in the Gospel. Maybe the authorities have the right to kill but even if they do Christians have the obligation to not kill and to show the same mercy to all others that they were shown through Christ. We do not correct through violence! Love does not harm it's neighbor. Everyone is a neighbor. Love to enemies means nurturing life in them and not killing them. If it were otherwise Jesus would not have ended up on that cross. We would. We NEED this love. All of us. We need to accept it and we need to give it. I am convinced of this. God, if I'm wrong tell me who Jesus would kill. I've yet to meet 'em. But I've met a lot of folks he'd rather die for so that he could POSSIBLY save them (the whole world).

A 9-11 Meditation

Today is a great day for us in the U.S., who know the love of Christ as citizens of the kingdom of heaven, to remember and imitate that love in our hearts, minds, hands/feet, and mouthes by doing good to not only those who we love and cherish but to our enemies who are against us as well. Let us pray and nurture all neighbors whoever they are or have been. Let us praise the God who died for us when enemies and do the same, forgiving and reconciling relentlessly as we were always meant to do. Let us also use this opportunity to stand against unloving action be it by the hands of individuals, groups, or government. Let us say no to destruction, war, and all types of violence and revenge for it is destruction, anger, and hate which broke our hearts to begin with. Instead, let us set an example of what goodness looks like by praying, being hospitible, using kind words, living with patience, offering blessings, meetings needs and speaking life into the lives of all around us, especially those we are in conflict with.

May we not lose sight of our identity as kingdom people and mistake ourselves as belonging to any nation on this earth, tempted to take sides of one people group over and against another, but may our hearts break and our lives be shared deeply with those who we live alongside. May we live in the victory of Christ, holding to the hope of His return and judgment, not allowing fear or worry into our lives. May we share the wonderful blessings God has bestowed upon us with those crying out, gnashing their teeth, wringing their hands, and furrowing their brows (be it for what they have lost or want to take). May we be on the side of all people extending love to them, because we care for what and who God cares. May Peace of Christ be with you.

My Ignorant Racism

I went to Mid-America Christian University for my undergrad. It was a wonderful experience. I love that I went there. They were good to me. Their advertisements are on Revelife a lot (for better or worse). Today, as I was reflecting on racism, being a racialized society, and a divided church, I began to think on my experience in college.

We had chapel twice a week. Each chapel was basically a contemporary evangelical church worship service in terms of structure (announcements, songs, message, songs, dismissal with prayer sprinkled amongst the activities). Most of the speakers were good. Most speakers had a relationship with the school. Most of them were white. One particular speaker was not. He was a very cliche black, overweight, yelling, sweating, pastor. Imagine impersonating a black preacher from the south and you've nailed it. He was great. We loved him. He had passion, he got loud, he made us uncomfortable but it was still safe and it sparked something in us.

When I look back on the experience I grow sad though because I don't believe we truly appreciated him for the reasons we thought we did. I am convinced that we liked him coming to speak at chapel because it was entertainment. We were, mostly, white suburban Christians who were seeing something new. We were entertained. It was like going to the zoo and seeing the monkeys. We were observing something similar to us but different at the same time. We loved him coming into our world, standing on our stage, and doing his thing before us. But only a handful of us ever went to his small church. I went once, maybe twice. It was a wonderful experience. But I did not stay. I did not allow that world to be my world. I kept it at bay. Because it was different, I was the odd man out, it wasn't comfortable, it wasn't what I knew.

Did I recognize those as the reasons I didn't stay at the time? No. Did I recognize why I loved that pastor at the time? No. I thought I understood but I was wrong. I thought my pleasure was innocent when it was quite tainted. We all loved that pastor speaking in our chapel for the same reason we were unwilling to be a part of his faith community. We didn't consider ourselves as the same. We didn't embrace him, we watched him. We were raised to be comfortable, to know the white church, to be consumers and not givers or sharers.

For my part, I repent. I'm sorry. I didn't approach him as a friend, a brother, a body part of Christ. I approached him, naively, as a form of entertainment, less than human. Not because he was black but because he wasn't like I was, and the reason he wasn't like me was because he was from a black community and raised in a culture I never knew and wasn't willing to know. Since then I've entered into the type of communities he was raised and working in. I still struggle with seeing people as I ought to see them, engaging them as I ought to engage them, and forsaking myself the way I out to forsake myself. But Christ teaches me to lose myself and gain a full body of diverse people. In Christ I lose my consumerist and invisibly racist ways and begin to truly value children of God for what they deeply and most truly are. I am theirs and they are mine, belonging to one another, needing one another. I probably need them more than they need me.

What's the point? We have divisions among us that we are ignorant of and in Christ those divisions are brought to light and in our sharing of His death they are crushed. In our resurrection and the sacraments of baptism and eucharist we are unified and we begin to work out our salvation (communal and individual) by practicing Christ's unrelenting love as we see one another as we are created to be (as individuals and communities). May Christ's power break all our divisions. May we allow Him to do what He desires in our lives. May we repent where we must.