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Saturday, November 26, 2011

When We're Mistreated; Never Abandoning An Attitude of Love


I've had to take breaks from Facebook recently because I see so many heartbreaking messages that overwhelm my spirit with pain and aggravation. Often I see these sorts of things as a response to a recent interaction in which someone upset the person posting it. Repeatedly I see posts containing catchy little sayings, graphics, or notes that convey an attitude of pride, contempt, and bitterness. Sadly, some of these posts are by Christian brothers and sisters. The message usually something similar to "If someone doesn't think you're worthwhile then they're not worth your time." This is not an attitude for Christians to adopt though.*

People who don't value me will always be valuable for they are made in the image of God who also created me in his image. Those who don't appreciate me should still be appreciated because they are as much a sinner and mess as myself and are appreciated by our Father in heaven. Those who don't love me still need to be loved so they may learn how to love. We are to "...Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves" (Romans 12:9-10). Abandoning the commitment to honor others won't do the good that is needed in this world. Selfishness, bitterness, and revenge are not good medicines for healing broken relationships. In fact, those very things are antithetical to the way of Jesus' love which keeps no record of wrongs, does not keep anger, forgives, blesses, and reconciles. If I am a Christian and I'm posting messages on Facebook (or my daily actions and attitudes) that communicate an if-you-don't-treat-me-well-I-won't-treat-you-well mentality then I'm missing the uniqueness of Christ's love.

Jesus tells us "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Matthew 5:46-48). Christians are to love neighbors even when they may be like enemies. We are called to not only love those who love us or treat well those who treat us well. Rather we love everyone and treat all people well. Jesus has instructed us "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12), and similarly, "Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31). In this second passage he also says "...do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (v. 27). With similar words to the Matthew passage he states, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:32-36).

Too often we want to write off people who have wronged us instead of addressing the conflict. It's easier to count someone an enemy and believe we owe them no loving action or attitude but this is not the narrow way of Christ. Whether we count them as enemy or not we owe the person love. Jesus commands us to love our enemies repeatedly. When he describes what this type of love looks like he says it is a love that blesses, prays for, and nurtures the other. At one point Jesus says to his listeners, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24). Repairing relationships is important. Jesus finds this to be so important that he teaches us that our worship is unwanted by God if we're not reconciling with others. If we're letting broken relationships exist and not trying to make things right then we aren't right with God. After all, "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister" (1John 4:20-21). Sometimes a relationship will not be mended but the task to mend what is broken and to reconcile with love is always upon the Christian. To do this we must abandon our selfish, bitter, and revengeful attitudes which force us to devalue those who devalue us.

We can not allow ourselves to devalue others with our words. We can not present such curses, especially with idleness or flippancy. "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water" (James 3:9-12). We must endure the hate and curses of others. We must persevere through the bad attitudes that surround us and sling arrows. Our love must be unique, like Christ's love.

The uniqueness of Christ's love is found in the resilience of his love! While being killed he prays forgiveness for his murderers (Luke 23:34). We are to be a people who forgive without end (Matthew 18:21-35). We imitate Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5:1). Whether or not someone loves us or treats us well is to have no bearing on whether or not we love them or treat them well. That is what sacrificial love looks like. That is the love that took Jesus to the cross and that is the love we can't live without. It is the love we all need. It is a love we have seen. It is a love we must sincerely give precisely because we have experienced it . . . even when we're online.

*Sure, when it comes to spreading the gospel there are times when you shake the dust off and continue on your way but I'm focusing on the type of attitude that demands a devaluing of fellow human beings. It's one thing to walk away from someone who has closed ears and it is quite another to think poorly of that person. Jesus let people like the rich man walk away but he loved them even then. We're called to that same way of operating.

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