Being Civil & Being Harsh

In my last article I argued that Christians ought to practice restraint and charity in their discussions with others. I characterized that type of communication as civil and I recognize that is a less than ideal term. I recognized this because Mtngirlsouth asked me the question "Do you think it is uncivil to call people vipers? How about telling them that they serve their father, the devil?" This is a tricky question because I am either to say that Jesus was uncivil and thus my position is lost or I have to say it civil to call people vipers and sons of Satan. That is a delightful trap she set up (and I mean that in a good way) because neither of the conclusions lands me where I ought to stand as a Christian. As a result I felt the need to alter the way I presented my argument.

Being civil is not the goal of the Christian because the definition of civil is one that morphs from community to community. Being civil always carries with it the assumption that a person is trying to simply get along with others and that is of course not the goal of Christianity (even though it is often a result). Christians love others so those others may draw near to God and enter his kingdom as reconciled people. That often requires offending others and even using harsh language. Being civil is not the goal of the Christian but rather conviction, reconciliation, unity, and love.

I believe there are times for harsh speech that seems uncivil. Christians must speak boldly and honestly about the truth of Jesus Christ. However, this never means we are to be unloving in our speech. If a Christian speaks harshly and offends it must be motivated by love and done in a way that is very obviously meant to convict a person and bring them to repentance so they may be reconciled to God. Jesus sets a great example for this when he calls the Jewish officials (and only the Jewish officials) a brood of vipers or sons of Satan. Jesus aimed his harsh words at those "closest" to God. Jesus even calls his closest disciple Peter "Satan" at one point. The Apostle Paul did the same thing. Paul was harsh with the church and soft with those outside the church. We are wise to adopt the same approach. We have harshness for the religious but gentle and bold truth for the pagan. With that in mind let's examine Jesus' harsh words and try to discover what they mean for us in the way we discuss truth with others. The passages being referenced here are Matthew 12:33-37 and Matthew 23.

Jesus was never out of line (even if it would not have been seen as civil) and a big reason is because he was right. He knew the hearts of those people just as he knew his Father. Not only that but Jesus is quoting scripture that is familiar to the officials. He's holding them accountable to the scriptures. He isn't using random terms to insult but rather specific biblical terms to convict. That's a huge key to remember. Jesus is focused on reconciliation. Whenever he tells those religious officials they are vipers he brings it back to sin, judgment, and repentance. The first time this happens is with John the Baptizer in Matthew 3:7 (and Luke 3) and it is followed by baptism. That's not a coincidence. Jesus and those who have his Spirit (like John and Paul) are intentional and wise with their words. They call a spade a spade so that it may become something better. These words are always for the sake of instruction and reconciliation.

Honest and bold speech is important and shouldn't be dismissed so that folks can get along. People won't get along. Does that mean I should call people I disagree with sons of Satan or vipers because they are uncivil or incorrect? Maybe because I'm upset with them? No. Does that mean using that type of language is always wrong? No. There is a time and place for that language and it takes great wisdom to know that time and place. Not only that but if those words don't serve the purpose of reconciliation and repentance then it is nothing but harmful and unloving. These words by John, Jesus, and Paul are not meant to tear down but to build up and they are used on very specific people in very specific instances. Nothing in these passages gives reason to believe the Christian can be insulting or unkind to others in daily discussion. This is tough love in speech form and tough love can only be given to those who share a deep solidarity with the corrector.

Jesus was wise enough to know we would abuse this example for selfish purposes and that we needed more instruction on this and thus he taught us "You have heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER' and 'Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing,' shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, 'You fool,' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering" (Matthew 5:21-24).

So we need to be careful with our speech. After all, we are not Jesus (or John or Paul) and we don't have the wisdom and discernment he does. We must speak words of truth that have the potential to breed life, repentance, and reconciliation. We can't be careless. We must be intentional about our language for it reveals our heart and it will be a way in which we are judged. If we are harsh then we better make sure we're completely on target and motivated by love.

Jesus said it well when he stated, "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned" (Matthew 12:33-37). Finally, let us remember that after Jesus he spoke gave himself up for those he spoke to, sacrificing himself for their sake. The discussion ended in selfless love. His victory looked like defeat but we affirm that love won.

Christians & Charitable Discussion

There was once a man named Philipp Jakob Spener. He was a pietist and he had a few wishes. These wishes were found in the preface to a collection of sermons by another cool guy. One of Spener's wishes was that we would employ both restraint and charity in controversy. Spener lived in a time when head knowledge was highly respected and most pastors were preaching above the level of layperson understanding. Debate was popular and it often became unChristian. Spener, in response, communicated this wish.

I blog a lot and like many of you I interact with folks in (usually theological) debate/discussion. A large amount of those discussions are with people I disagree with. With the internet and similar venues that create impersonal communication it is easy to disregard restraint and charity for it is easy to disregard the humanity of the person we are dialoguing with. Most recently I have seen Spener's wish tossed aside in discussions regarding Rob Bell's latest book Love Wins. Say what you want about Bell's position but one thing is certain, the discussion that has come about in reaction to the book, in a lot of circles, is proving love to be losing in among Christians. Sadly, there are many other topics that prove this lacking of love.

Sojourners (like them or not) has a code of conduct for online interactions on their website which I've hijacked and altered for myself. I've even shared this before on this blog. Here is a portion of that commitment to civil conduct.

1. I will express myself with civility, courtesy, and respect for every member of this community, especially toward those with whom I disagree—even if I feel disrespected by them. (Romans 12:17-21)
2. I will express my disagreements with other community members' ideas without insulting, mocking, or slandering them personally. (Matthew 5:22, Romans 1:28-32)
3. I will not exaggerate others' beliefs nor make unfounded prejudicial assumptions based on labels, categories, or stereotypes. I will always extend the benefit of the doubt. (Ephesians 4:29)

I love that last line about giving the benefit of the doubt to others. Our goal is to show the love of Christ and reconcile all to God. That is hard to do when we don't see the good/God in others or don't treat others as though they are worthy of that respect and charity. I believe a part of Christian harmony and living peacefully with each other involves disagreeing well and submitting to selfless love just as Jesus Christ did. We value knowledge a great deal but I wonder how often we value it more than love and peaceful unity. How often are we trying to be right and how often are we trying to love, unite, or reconcile? We don't always have to choose between the two but sometimes we do. My wish is that we wouldn't toss restraint and charity aside. For me that often means shutting up instead of continuing to be verbal in disagreement.

Christians, I urge you to be civil at all times. We have motivation in Christ Jesus to interact lovingly with those around us. The will of God compels us to love neighbors and enemies at all times, blessing them and speaking life to them. Commit yourselves to loving language and interactions. Communicate with others in a way that respects, encourages, and uplifts them. Even in disagreement show love because being right will not bring about reconciliation like love will. Being right or making someone look stupid is not going to serve the purposes of the Gospel. Name calling, exaggerating or misrepresenting the other person's position, personalizing an issue and attacking a person instead of their position are not actions of charity. Can we learn to practice calm discussion? Can we learn to be self examined? Can we learn to stop ourselves and notice when we aren't being loving and then change gears so that we begin to turn our discussions towards love? If we can not then we are no longer concerned with loving as Christ loved for we have dismissed the gospel teaching of treating others as better than ourselves. Therefore, let us restrain ourselves in controversy and let us be charitable to others so that love may abound!

Doing Little For Christ

Dorothy Day is a hero in my eyes. She is a co-founder of the Catholic Worker Movement. She has a plethora of inspiring and thought provoking quotes. She's just a fantastic women in the history of the Christian faith and you should check her out. You can buy a great book containing her writings at Amazon. Here is one very small quote from her that is pregnant with beautiful truth.

“What we do is very little. But it is like the little boy with a few loaves and fishes. Christ took that little and increased it. He will do the rest. What we do is so little that we may seem to be constantly failing. But so did he fail. He met with apparent failure on the Cross. But unless the seeds fall into the earth and die, there is no harvest.”

When I think of the small amount of work expected of the individual person my mind also goes to Jesus' teaching (whereas Day has pointed to his example) when he shares a parable. "He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come” (Mark 4:26-29).

Recently I wrote that love is the goal of the Christian (and not getting to heaven or out of hell). A brother pointed to the ministry of reconciliation we have been given by Christ as the Church. He pointed this out to say reconciliation is our goal. I don't disagree. However, Reconciliation is not entirely our duty. We are unable to reconcile others to God on our own. Alone, we can not reconcile others. However, on our own, we can love. As individuals, as a society/community/church. We can fully love and in doing so plant the seeds of the gospel/kingdom. God will grow and multiply. Salvation and reconciliation is the work of God of which we have a part and yet we are not the only part (for even creation preaches the gospel). So while we are charged with the ministry of reconciling man to God we acknowledge that our part in that process is being a people of love. We live out the gospel and in so doing plant seeds and complete our part in reconciliation.

What is difficult about this teaching is the fact that what is asked of us is not a single deed or even a repeated deed but a life. Christ does not ask that we give him a basket of fish and loaves unless the fish and loaves are the whole of our life. We do not visit the farm and plant a seed but rather we are farmers who scatter seed. It is a lifestyle. It is what we do. It is who we are. This task is not as much a task as it is an entire life lived for and in Christ. We do not merely attend church services but we die and resurrect with Jesus and live out his ministry of reconciliation by being a people of absolute love. What is expected of us is little when we observe the whole of reconciliation and yet in our eyes there is nothing larger to ask of a person.

Christian Modesty

I've been reading a lot of blogs this past week about modesty and purity expectations of Christian women. It's a hot button right now. Should it be such a hot button though? I don't see any good reason for it. With everything else in the Christian life it boils down to loving God and loving neighbor. That said, let's jump into the issue.

Women: Our oversexed culture plays a big role in the tense relationship between Christian men and Christian women's clothing. It sucks any time a person or group of people are given the responsibility to boost others when it really seems the responsibility ought to be on the other party. But, that's life sometimes I suppose. I know I find myself in that situation a lot where I live/work. And as much as I hate saying it, because it does seem unfair, I often think that Christian women have a large amount of responsibility to look out for their brothers precisely because of the surrounding culture. I'm not saying women should jump into full time snuggies (though that'd be comfy), denim dresses (God help us), or even strict mennonite apparel (which is actually kinda hot... I mean... sort of... sometimes...) but I do think women need to go the extra mile in our churches when it comes to pursuing modest dress. More on this later.

Men: At the same time, men need to get their butts in gear and stop being slaves to the culture and their lust. All men know a modestry dressed woman doesn't fix the problem. Self control is the main issue. Men need to quit making excuses, take ownership, and be disciplined and healthy men so they can be faithful husbands or celibates. They need to create for themselves a Spirit that doesn't need their sisters to go an extra mile so that eventually the women can be less restricted (which is a result of their love)! And yeah, it's hard. The culture is completely comes against what scripture directs men to be like when it comes to sexuality (though the specific attack isn't intentional). It's a battle. But the men are equipped (no pun intended) by Christ to overcome all obstacles.

Congregations: How men and women work out all this in various congregations/communities is up to them. I hope we all have hearts that are willing to make us bondservants to Christ and to one another so that we can go the extra mile. I hope we can all avoid legalism because our love for each other is so strong that we do whatever it takes to be good for one another and always build each other up with our clothes or whatever it may be. So let us love one another as best we can. If that means actually donning long sleeved, long skirted dresses for a while then let's do it. If it means throwing away our computers and attending sex addict meetings let's do it. If it means just talking about sex honestly together more then let's do it. Odds are, we're all going to have different burdens in this.

Me: I keep my laptop in the public square at my home so nothing is hidden. I talk to Christian men about my sexuality on a regular basis. I study sexuality from both a scriptural and scientific perspective so I don't scar myself or others (did I mention I use to be a sex educator for the Southwest Washington Health District in high school). I discuss the sex life of a few married brothers with them to encourage them and to learn for myself how to have a healthy marriage someday. I don't have to attend sex addiction meetings or use certain softwares. Some men do. I don't need my sisters to wear strict Mennonite clothing. Some men do (or maybe they just need to become Mennonites or monks for a while). Don't get me wrong, I think it'd be great if skinny jeans and tight low cut tops weren't worn a lot but that's why I'm surrounded by men to talk and pray with. That's why I invest in disciplines that grow self-control. And for those guys and gals who drool more than dogs when they see a sexy brother or sister, they need healthy community and practices too. We all need help.

Christians: God gave us one another for a reason. To grow more deeply into his love. We can do that by being a community that loves one another, counsels one another, cares for one another, looks out for one another, serves one another, and sacrifices our wants and ourselves for one another. We carry each other's burdens because that is what Christian love looks like. We value education and teach each other about sex in an honest and healthy way that embraces scripture. We don't allow each other to be legalistic and destroy future sexual integrity and we don't allow each other to be liberal and destroy present sexual integrity.

I saw a blog recently in which the author posted about a woman who couldn't open her legs to her new husband due to a Christian upbringing with unbalanced sexual education. That's not the type of love and healthy life the Church is to foster in its members. The Songs of Solomon should teach us about that balance! Christians should write amazing sexually packed poetry! That's okay for us! Our passion and urges should be expressed! We should have marriage beds that are being broken due to the awesome sex that happens on them (IKEA will make a fortune thanks to us)! We need to embrace sex for the beautiful and powerful gift that it is! At the same time, we hold to our standards. There is a balance and it is not incredibly difficult to find.Together we can find all the balance we need. Christ's Spirit is our Mediator and Administrative Teacher to help us.

Most all, modesty is a heart issue. Modesty deals more with behavior than it does clothing! A modest person dresses with decency and propriety but also with good deeds according to 1 Timothy. Clothing is important but who we are as people and how we treat others is the overarching issue we need to be concerned with. If our deeds and dress show a selfishness or a sense of indecency then the problem within our hearts needs to be dealt with. Our outsides ought to represent our insides.

So when summer rolls around and the debate about bikinis and short shorts comes into play in Christian circles let us always answer with the commitment to sacrificially love one another and carrying each other's burdens, no matter the cost. Let us be honest and balanced. Let us be graceful and not demanding or legalistic. Let us set an example for all others. Let us be true Christian communities. Above all, let us love.

A Lament of Violence

My congregation is currently going through the Psalms of Lament. It's taking a toll on me. I suppose that's good. This coming Sunday we're having several folks in the congregation write and read laments on various aspects of our broken world. I was asked to do a lament on the subject of violence in whatever capacity I saw fit. This is the finished product. I warn you, it is not kind.

If not for the rainbow in the sky after each rain I'd fear You regretting once again to let us thrive upon this earth for there was once a time when we filled this blue and green orb with such violence that You responded with flooding waters that erased the cycle of pain Cain had started when man was east of Eden.

Yet I see the family tradition of killing brothers has not been defeated in your waters. How long shall Cain's murderous spirit thrive here? How long shall violence wear the crown on this earth? Where is peace? Where is the shalom you've promised us? Is it in Libya? Jerusalem? Iraq? Was it in Vietnam? London? New York? Will peace ever find Washington D.C. or erase the 20,000 nuclear weapons the world has stockpiled?

Stabbings, shootings, thievings, rapings. Where are you to be found? Children are abducted and made soldiers by initiation which demands cold blooded killings. Are you there? Drunken men throw their wives and babies into walls. Are you there? Police officers shove the faces of young black men into blacker pavement without question. Are you there? Thirteen year old girls push wire hangers inside their bodies. Are you there?

When shall man stop clinging to weapons while in fear? When shall man cease to teach that murder is wrong by means of execution? Where is your love, mercy or justice? How long shall wickedness thrive in our bedrooms, governments, schools, and streets? How long shall man be deaf to the cries of the blood that soaks the ground beneath ? How long will you leave us to be destroyed? When will you rescue us? How long shall we suffer and die? How long will violence thrive? Will you leave us to the cycle of death and the lie that violence redeems?

You said that swords and spears would become tools for farming and the bows of men would be bent to breaking. Yet lions are eating lambs and man is eating man. Can you even stop our mad obsession with violence, which we pour upon neighbors, enemies, and selves, or are we beyond the purifying waters you once poured out? Hear us when we cry "violence!" Father, deliver us from our traps and teeth and unclench all man's fists so we may live for we are surrounded on every side by violent men.

Life

Life is hard. It is incredibly difficult. Pain fills much of life. It is impossible to live a blessed amount of time without feeling cursed. Eventually life will feel like death. Life will crush you. It will kick your ass when you're awake and when you are asleep. Suffering will think it is your best friend and nobody will be able to convince you that it is anything but your most intimate and wild lover. Yes, life will seem pointless and beyond unfortunate repeatedly. The redundancy of pain will color life the darkest shade of black you could ever imagine. The heart of the deepest cave at midnight will plot murder in its heart out of jealousy for the darkness of life in those times.

Everything in life will end up failing you. People will especially fail you. Over and over. You will pick dirt from your teeth countless times through a well lived life. Doubt about the goodness of life will flood your soul. For if you truly live you will encounter heartbreak, death, injustice, war, divorce, rape, miscarriages, abductions, famine, poverty, sickness, oppression, hate, and every bad thing that evil and this world has to offer to mankind. Trouble will find you and it will change your name to Ash. This is undeniably true and anyone who attempts to convince you otherwise has either never encountered life or is wrapped in that living coffin of darkness which pain brings and seeks only to feed his or her vampire-like craving for company by dragging you into the bear trap of their misfortune, for misery desires nothing more than such a miserable company.

But at no point should we ever be convinced that life is not worth living. Life has always been, is, and forever shall be a precious gift from God and even though it may seem like curses, torture, and even death we must remember that these sufferings are temporary and not meant to last forever. They are not part of the life God has promised us. For this reason he has defeated sin and evil through Christ on the cross. There will come a time when these terrors shall no longer exist. But until that time, know that there is a deliverance. For we can endure all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13) and we will never be completely defeated (2Corinthians 4:8-9).

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

-Paul of Tarsus, 2Corinthians 4:16-18

Unexpected Statements About Nonviolence

I write about nonviolence a lot. I took a 6 month break from it recently and have returned unexpectedly. I thought it would be fun for me to share a few things that most of my readers may not expect to hear from me on the subject of nonviolence - even if I am stated them or implied them previously - so that they know where I'm coming from a little better.

1. I don't believe nonviolence is commanded in scripture. Search for the word nonviolent and you'll find nothing. Nonviolence is one of those ideologies that I believe can not be avoided if we take Jesus' teachings and example seriously. I believe we end up at nonviolence when we sincerely and fully embrace the type of love for enemies that is put forth in the New Testament.

2. There are aspects of the nonviolent lifestyle that I hate. I hate the idea that I can't take matters into my own hands. I hate that I have to trust God and give into the mystery of love. It'd be much easier if I could just use my anger against someone in the ways that I see fit. I hate the struggle of wondering "How do I defend others with nonviolent means?" It's taxing to work it out in my head and heart.

3. I do not advocate nonviolence because I think it sounds like a good idea or because I think it "works." I advocate nonviolence because I have been unable to argue against it when I look at the witness of scripture and the faithful church through time. When the concept of nonviolence was first put before me I battled against it tooth and nail. It won (well, the God of love who died on a cross for me won). It (He) is still winning. I'm still battling.

4. Nonviolence is not the most efficient way to keep the most people alive possible. It will definitely fail to do that a lot of the time. It's not ineffective to keep people alive but it absolutely is no guarantee to keep the most people alive possible. Then again, no strategy can accomplish keeping everyone alive.

5. Nonviolence is dangerous because those who do not understand it but try to embrace it may fall into the terrible evil of being passive and cowardly. As Gandhi believed, it is better for someone to be violent than a coward.

6. Being nonviolent is not to be a top priority. I mean, I am concerned with that but it's a secondary concern. I'm far more concerned with imitating Christ and living out His love in a sinful world. I don't see how violence can fit into communicating the love of Christ with our lives and thus I seek out loving means conflict resolution, which seem to always be nonviolent. Does this mean I accept there may be room for violence at times? Yes, if God directly commands violence to be done by His people (but that doesn't exist in the New Testament so odds of it happening are more than slim).

The Early Church on Enemies

The early church was full of men and women dedicated to communicating the love of Jesus Christ to all people. They died for being Christians and for not meeting the demands of the world around them in various ways. One of the extraordinary aspects of the Christian life is enemy love. Jesus clearly taught his followers to extend love towards those who were against them. He instructed his people to bless, pray, do good and make friends with enemies. Through the next several hundred years this was a big aspect in the exercising of one's Christian faith. Here are a few words by some leaders of the faith in the few hundred years following Christ concerning enemy love.

We who formerly hated and murdered one another and did not even share our hearth with those of a different tribe because of their customs, now, after Christ’s appearance, live together and share the same table. Now we pray for our enemies and try to win those who hate us unjustly so that they too may live in accordance with Christ’s wonderful teachings, that they too may enter into the expectation, that they too may receive the same good things that we will receive from God, the ruler of the universe.

-Justin, First Apology 14.

They [Christians] speak gently to those who oppress them, and in this way they make them their friends. It has become their passion to do good to their enemies.

-Aristides, Apology 15; ca. A.D. 137.

And yet he [Jesus] loved those who hated him, mourned over those who did not believe in him, blessed those who abused him, and prayed for his enemies. He not only acted like a father himself, but he also taught his disciples to do the same in their attitude [toward others], to act toward them as toward their own brothers.

-Clementine Homelies III.19

The prophet Isaiah tells us that we should not, as some think, love only our own people: “Say to those that hate and curse you, ‘You are our brothers!’” And the Gospel says, “Love your enemies!”

-Theophilus of Antioch, To Autolycus III.14.

Now the teaching of these words is this: Bless those who curse you, and pray for your enemies. Fast for those who persecute you, for what grace would it be if you love those who love you? Do not even the hea- then peoples do that? But love those who hate you, and you will have no enemy. Abstain from the cravings of the flesh and of the body. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other to him also, and you will be perfect. If someone presses you to go with him one mile, get ready for two. If anyone takes away your coat, give him your jacket as well. If any man seizes what is yours, do not demand it back, for you cannot anyway. Give to everyone who asks of you and never demand a re- turn, for it is the Father’s will that all should share the gifts we have received.

-The Didache

Jesus commanded us to love even our enemies. This was already announced through Isaiah in several passages, which also tell of the mystery of new birth, a new birth belonging to all people who expect Christ’s coming in Jerusalem and who strive to please him through deeds.

-Justin, Dialogue with Trypho the Jew 85.7

...this the people who have to suffer these things are not even allowed to hit back when struck and are expected to use only kind words when reviled! To be just alone is not enough because to be just means to repay like for like, but we have been commanded to go far beyond this, to be kind and patient. How could anyone in his right mind accuse us of murder when we hold to such principles...

-Athenagoras, A Plea Regarding Christians

We must then offer no resistance. He never wanted us to imitate the wicked. Rather, he challenged us to lead everyone away from shamefulness and pleasure in evil by patience and kindness. We can in fact show that many who were once among you have been transformed in this way. They gave up their violent and domineering ways.

-Justin, First Apoology 16

Today there are some popular church leaders who continue to embrace this perspective. In his book Reason for GodTim Keller, a New York pastor and author, says of Christians, "At the very heart of their view of reality was a man who died for his enemies, paying for their forgiveness. Reflection on this could only lead to a radically different way of dealing with those who were different from them. It meant they could not act in violence and oppression towards their opponents."